ASIAdocument.write(“” + m[today.getMonth()+1]+ ” “+ today.getDate()+”, ” + theYear + ” “);HOMECHINAWORLDBUSINESSLIFESTYLECULTURETRAVELSPORTSOPINIONREGIONALFORUMNEWSPAPERChina Daily PDFChina Daily E-paperChina Daily Global PDFChina Daily Global E-paperOpinion / From the ReadersEditorialsOp-EdColumnistsContributorsCartoonsSpecialsFrom the PressForum TrendsTalk from streetDebateEditors Pick:Syrian refugeescyberspaceV-Day paradeshrimp scandalTPPChina love story: a baby changes everythingBy Rosie Zhao (chinadaily.com.cn) Updated:2015-09-21 14:20Comments Print Mail Large Medium SmallRosie Zhao and her families pose for a photo at home. [Photo provided to chinadaily.com.cn] Before I came to China, I had been somewhat unlucky in love. Days before my departure for Shanghai in 2005, my cousin made a prediction. “Youll fall in love in China,” she said, without the slightest bit of irony. I laughed it off. If I couldnt find the man of my dreams in my own country, how was I to find him in China? The truth is, I never even considered dating in China a possibility. I didnt think Id be attracted to Chinese men, or them to me.I met my future husband at a Chinese gym, of all places. It was a somewhat awkward place to meet and he approached me as I attempted to lift free weights. He fumbled through some incredibly rudimentary English, trying to correct my form. I more or less blew him off, figuring a relationship of any kind was pointless as we had little means to communicate. I thought that would end things, but I was very much mistaken. He pursued me for the next couple weeks and his persistence eventually won me over. Before long I was head over heels in love with him, a local Chinese man.
The challenges we faced in the beginning of our relationship were typical—deciding where to live, worrying over visas, dealing with my parents skepticism—but manageable. In time, the situations resolved themselves naturally without too much work on our part. When others would make comments about how tough it must be to marry someone from a foreign country, I quickly went on the defense, trying to convince my questioner that marrying cross-culturally is really no different from dating within ones own circle. After all, every relationship faces hardships, I reasoned. I was confident in that conviction for a long time. But as parents love to forewarn parents-to-be, a baby changes everything.Our son was born in spring of 2014 and my world was turned upside down. In many respects, he was a very easy baby to care for—he cried little and slept well at night. My struggles in caring for a newborn were negligible in comparison to the other pressures I faced. I was routinely admonished for not strictly adhering to postpartum confinement (zuo yuezi), a practice completely foreign to me. I was forbidden from taking the baby outside until he was 100 days old, for reasons I still dont fully understand. Everything I did to care for my son was up for debate, from the clothes I picked out to the way I swaddled him. I suddenly felt like everything I knew and did was under constant attack.Since giving birth, Ive learned that compromise is often more complicated than it seems. If you give up too much of yourself, you may end up resentful. If you compromise too little, you may be stuck in a constant battle. At times, Ive felt both guilty of sacrificing too much of myself and my beliefs, while also not trying hard enough to accept Chinese customs. In a realtionship, we may unexpectedly find that our values or beliefs are at odds with our partners, but with some patience and empathy, I think most difficulties can be overcome. As for me, I may never have expected to fall in love with a Chinese man, but now I cant imagine myself being in love with anyone else. For that reason, I will keep on working to better understand his background and beliefs while never forgetting my own.8.03KRelated StoriesI never expected to marry a Chinese manMy transcultural love in SeattleAn American finds love in ChinaAmericans and Chinese view dating very differentlyMost Viewed Todays Top NewsLegal safeguard for lawyers to exercise rights in courtOnly a specific law can restore charities honorNew deals may highlight Xis US visitAvoiding usual traps and building China-US trustCultural venture with potentialForum TrendsShould teachers accept gifts from students?Is military training necessary for freshmen?Should children endorse products?Should a woman propose to a man?Education: Learning from each otherStay-at-home or working mom?Can single women exercise reproductive rights?ColumnistsWhen a good Samaritan becomes the target for extortionConflicting theories on car crash no surpriseFeatured ContributorsChina-US love-hate marriage doesnt allow divorceUS cant shun its responsibility in refugee crisisStar BloggersThe man with a plan By teamkrejadosWhen he first came to China, things were a lot more lax – both in this country and in the world. Obtaining official documents was nowhere near as rigorous as it is today.America is to blame By MichaelMA recent post that went viral on Chinese social media outlet, WeChat, stated that America is at fault for the recent downfall of the Chinese stock market.Nine big issues in food and agribusiness By MarcosF.NevesWhat are some of the issues food agribusiness researchers and executives are talking about right now? To address this question, I had a chance to participate in the recent World Food and Agribusiness Congress.SpecialGap years: A choice for young ChineseThe lives of stay-at-home dadsExpats teachers zoom in on China…| About China Daily | Advertise on Site | Contact Us | Job Offer | Expat Employment |Copyright 1995 -var oTime = new Date();
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